March Essay Competition

March 9 — March 22, 2026,

Prompt

The average man, regardless of creed, family background, religion, personal convictions, or social, economic, or marital status, will always feel threatened or intimidated by a successful, strong, independent woman.

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Pride & patnership

By Israel Oyedeji

March 11, 2026 · 640 words · 4 min read

It has become a societal norm in Nigeria and much of Africa that the man is the provider and head of the family. This expectation is often justified through a particular interpretation of the biblical concept that God placed man in charge, granting him dominion over creation. Yet this interpretation frequently overlooks another important detail: woman was created to be a helpmate. The tension, therefore, is not between scripture and modernity, but between cultural traditions handed down by our fathers and a more nuanced reading of the text. When measured against modern reality—where a woman can exist as a capable partner rather than a rival—a clear conflict emerges. For this reason, I say that the average man, regardless of creed, family background, religion, personal convictions, or social and economic status, is likely to feel threatened or intimidated by a strong, successful, and independent woman. To understand why this tension produces such a reaction, we must first examine the nature of man himself. Man is rational; he is inclined to pursue what advances his well-being. By this logic, a successful woman should naturally be seen as a helpmate—someone who can ease financial burdens, offer intellectual companionship, and strengthen the family unit. Yet this rational impulse is often overruled by another force: selfishness. Rooted in pride and the fear of diminished status, selfishness blinds the average man to the benefits of a successful partner. Instead of recognizing the advantages of a capable wife, he perceives her success as a threat. His need to remain the provider overshadows his rational interest in becoming a shared provider. This tension frequently leads to conflict within marriage.  This internal conflict plays out most visibly in the daily realities of a married life. Consider a situation in which a woman earns more than her husband. If the man loses his job and becomes temporarily idle, his ego may suffer deeply during that vulnerable period. Even if his wife helps him secure new employment, the reality that his income still falls below hers can quietly fuel resentment. Because his pride feels threatened, the man may begin to stir up arguments over trivial matters. His fear of being diminished—of no longer fulfilling the role of “the provider”—transforms gratitude into hostility. What should have been an opportunity for partnership becomes a battleground for pride. The wife, in turn, may begin to downplay her achievements to protect her husband’s ego. She walks on eggshells, careful not to trigger his insecurity. Gradually, she becomes aware that the support she offered out of love is being received with resentment. In trying to preserve peace, she sacrifices parts of herself. Her success—something that should uplift the family—becomes a source of tension instead. This mentality in men is often shaped by upbringing, peer influence, and broader socio-economic expectations. When left unchecked, it can lead to unstable relationships, divorce, and fragile foundations for the next generation. Some studies even suggest that marriages in which the wife earns more than the husband face higher divorce rates—not because of the money itself, but because of unresolved tensions surrounding male pride. However, it would be unfair to claim that every man reacts this way. Some men genuinely celebrate their wife’s success and see it as a shared victory rather than a personal defeat. They understand that partnership is not competition, but cooperation. Unfortunately, such attitudes still appear less common than they should be. Man, however, is not inherently malicious. He is simply caught between two opposing forces within himself: the rational side that recognizes the value of a capable partner, and the prideful impulse that interprets her success as his failure. Until these forces are reconciled, many marriages will continue to struggle—not because love is absent, but because pride refuses the help that partnership offers. The way forward demands honest self examination, open conversation, and a courage rarely discussed: the courage to receive help without feeling diminished by it.

March Essay Competition

March 9 — March 22, 2026,

Prompt

Pride & patnership

Scores for an essay are public only to the owner of the essay, or if the essay ranked among the top 10 in its competition.