TwoCents | ‘You Deserve Someone Who Is Kind To Your Nervous System’

Unless you skipped biology; we all know what our nervous system is and comprised of. At-least the central nervous system cos make I no lie, I had to google the rest. But I’ll define it for those who missed classes or liked to sit at the back or need to google to remember the rest, like me. You know yasefWikipedia describes it as the highly complex part of an animal that coordinates its actions and sensory information by transmitting signals to and from different parts of the body. The nervous system also detects environmental changes that impact the body, then works in tandem with the endocrine system to respond to such events. It’s also comprised of the following - * Central Nervous System (CNS): this includes the brain and spinal cord.* Peripheral Nervous System (PNS): this includes the nerves, sensory receptors and motor neurons Then there are other components like the Neuroglia, Synapses and Myelin. Na only God and scientists sabi wetin dem be. Before we get too caught up in the technicalities, and this starts to sound like a biology lesson, let's shift our attention back to the heart of the matter: the importance of finding someone who nurtures and supports your emotional well-being, as encapsulated in the phrase "you deserve someone who is kind to your nervous system.” The phrase simply means you deserve someone who is aware of your emotional needs. As we navigate our relationships with romantic partners, friends, and family, we often tend to focus on fulfilling each other's tangible needs, such as physical comfort, financial support, and social connections. However, we frequently overlook a crucial aspect: emotional needs, which can be just as vital to a person's well-being. I was moved to write about this topic after stumbling upon a poignant comment on a popular Instagram influencer's post. The situation involved a woman who was pouring her heart and efforts into a one-sided relationship, only to be met with indifference and eventual coldness from the man. As I scrolled through the comments, one statement resonated deeply with me: "You deserve someone who's kind to your nervous system." This phrase sparked a moment of reflection, and I felt compelled to explore this idea further, which is how I ended up here - putting metaphorical pen to paper. The long and short of it all is that, we deserve to get in return the love, care, kindness, and loyalty we give. And not only in a romantic context, but in your friendships, as well as in your familial relationships. You deserve people who are good for your nerves. As a lover boy or girl, the goal should always be to choose a partner who is gentle and considerate in their interactions with you and also other people. A partner who provides an emotional safety net for you. A partner who is your ‘peace’ like Nigerian men love to say. Peace provision is not gender specific, I might add.  In summary, it’s easier said than done, but being self aware and emotionally intelligent yourself, makes it less difficult to say no to Ogbanjes in the name of boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives and even blood relatives; who give you heart palpitations or high blood pressure because they insist on moving mad. May we find the strength like the babe I mentioned earlier to distance ourselves from such people. If you’re loving and caring, you surely deserve to be loved in equal measure na? Abi?  Oya say Amen.

Other insights from Belinda Chiazor