TwoCents | WHEN IT'S OKAY TO BE THE BAD GUY

People who tend to sacrifice relationships on the altar of ambition, are often viewed as bad, nasty, and downright evil. To be honest, it's easy to see why - how can you do away with a relationship built over the years just to further your own selfish ambition?Boo hoo! Cry me a river. Yup, this is me playing devil's advocate, so court is in session! Let me start by saying that I totally get the sentiments. Heck, I was once one of those 'how can you?' guys. But series of experiences have made me see things from a different perspective. Every human or almost every human is driven to a certain career/professional goal. The only difference being how we chose to navigate that course. Some people are tenacious in their pursuit, and others; not so much. So what is the difference? Tenacity can be ugly. You look at it from an angle and it comes off as obsessive. But nine out of ten times, it does pay off. The most tenacious people are more likely to reach their ambitions. One interesting thing about tenacity is that people get the urge to want to derail it - and not all of these efforts are from malicious motivations, most often, it stems from a place of concern. However, to keep up that tenacious tempo, one ought to ignore and resist these efforts to derail. And resisting this efforts often entails dissociating oneself from the origin (which sadly could be friends). This might explain why people might be forced to end a long term relationship. Also, ambition is contagious. If you want to succeed, you need to be around people who share the same hunger you do. Sadly, friends or family may not share that same hunger, and let's be honest passiveness is also infectious. I speak from experience when I say that the best gigs I've gotten have come from meeting new people outside my circle, who share a familiar zest. There's this motivation that comes just from being around people who are doing big things in your industry. It's like magic - hang around and learn from these people, and in no time doors would start opening up for you. Comfort can be dangerous, and so is familiarity. Once in a while, you need to shake things up. If that buddy of yours isn't contributing to your growth, find someone else who does. Ironically, it might be someone not as skilled or smart as you. Ambition trumps skill if skill isn't put to use - which kind of explains why the most skilled people often work under others. You might be thinking; why not pull that friend up to same level of ambition, rather than grow apart? Good question.Here's the truth - it is draining to try to help someone who isn't willing. You cannot force growth on people, especially those who have toxic contentment. I.e someone who is okay being mediocre. Continuous trial would eventually lead to a strained relationship, so why not save yourself the stress? At the end of the day, we have to come to terms with one thing. It is sometimes okay to be the bad guy - the selfish a**hole who puts his goals first.

Other insights from Jefferson Nnadiekwe