What Is your body count ? - by Emaa Ezeifeka

The first time I heard that question, I can recall I said “I weigh around 52kg” Yes, I thought it meant weight, body size or something in that line. B-O-D-Y C-O-U-N-T. “It can only mean the size of my body, what else ?” I had thought.I personally do not have a problem with having the “body count” conversation but sometimes I find it quite unnecessary. People pry a lot and I also feel like people would most likely lie- and since we all know that human beings lie (too much), why do we even bother asking ? In simple terms, a person’s “body count” refers to the number of people they’ve had sex with. Who even came up with that slang? I feel like it’s just a weird phrase in general. But that’s not my problem to tackle, not today. I’m tempted to say that “asking a person about his/her body count is unnecessary” but the truth is that IT IS NECESSARY TO KNOW. The only things that will classify the question as “proper” or “improper” are as follows; <ol> <li>Who you are asking. I’m sure we can all agree that asking parents this question is a NO-NO, especially African parents. Why?. On the other hand, I think it’s okay to have the conversation with a person you’re planning to date (and eventually sleep with) for obvious reasons.</li> <li>Why you are asking. Before asking, if your intention is to “find gist” then don’t even bother, everything no be gist. Imagine if you’re on a casual date with a person and they want to make your sex life the topic of discussion. How disgusting! Although, if the parties involved have a certain “understanding” and are free to talk about “anything” then that’s okay. But I honestly feel certain things should be kept private; like how many people have explored your private parts.</li> <li>When you are asking. Timing is important, always. I saw a film where this guy was about having sex with a babe and in that moment when he was about going in, he stopped and said “wait, how many people have been here?” Just like that. I screamed. Why????. Of course she stood up, got dressed and left his place. I think she even slapped him, can’t recall.</li> <li>How you are asking. This one is pretty easy but it varies depending on who you’re asking and the kind of relationship you have with them. I think “what is your body count” is a very rude way of asking (genuinely speaking). I think putting it this way sounds better “How many people have you been with? I know it’s a personal question and it’s okay if you don’t want to share but you can tell me if you’re comfortable enough, I’d like to know” SHIKINA. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. He or she can now choose to talk about it or not. </li> </ol> In general I think it’s important for people who are having sex, planning on having sex and people who are trying to be in a committed relationship to have the “body count” conversation for various reasons. It’s also okay to be shy or feel embarrassed about the number, especially if the person you’re talking to, has already said their number is “2” and you’re on 20+. We should all be understanding and accommodating of the sex lives of other people(I’m judging though, y’all be safe). We judge a lot in our society, and that’s why people lie (still judging though). So, if you feel like a person’s body count is too high for you, it’s okay to take a step back. But whatever the case may be; whether the person tells you his/her body count is 0 or 365, it’s crucial to get tested for STIs/STDs and use protection. It’s for your own good.

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