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Writer. @ University of Abuja
WHAT CONSENT CANNOT HOLD
<p><br/></p><p>We often speak of love<br/></p><p>as something that binds</p><p>two people</p><p>drawn together</p><p>by desire,</p><p>by choice,</p><p>by something that feels</p><p>mutual.</p><p><br/></p><p>And so we say:</p><p>If both people agree,</p><p>then it is right.</p><p>But agreement</p><p>has never been that simple.</p><p> </p><p> <img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_4352.jpeg" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"/></p><p><br/></p><p>Because consent can exist</p><p>inside pressure.</p><p>Inside expectation.</p><p>Inside the quiet fear</p><p>of losing someone</p><p>if you say no.</p><p><br/></p><p>A “yes” can be spoken</p><p>while something inside</p><p>hesitates.</p><p><br/></p><p>A “yes” can be learned</p><p>repeated</p><p>performed.</p><p>So the question becomes:</p><p>is it still freedom</p><p>if you feel you cannot refuse?</p><p><br/></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_4350.jpeg"/><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Marriage, we are told,</p><p>is unity.</p><p>Two lives<br/></p><p>woven together</p><p>until they are no longer</p><p>easily separated.</p><p><br/></p><p>But when does connection</p><p>become entanglement?</p><p>When does closeness</p><p>begin to erase</p><p>the edges</p><p>that make us individuals?</p><p><br/></p><p>Love should not require</p><p>the disappearance of self.</p><p> </p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_3967.jpeg"/><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>There are spaces</p><p>where people remain</p><p>not because they want to,</p><p>but because leaving</p><p>feels impossible.</p><p><br/></p><p>Where intimacy becomes</p><p>something endured</p><p>rather than shared.</p><p><br/></p><p>Where the body is present,</p><p>but the person</p><p>is somewhere else entirely.</p><p><br/></p><p>Consent, in these moments,</p><p>becomes a word</p><p>that no longer protects.</p><p><br/></p><p><img alt="" src="/media/inline_insight_image/IMG_4348.jpeg"/><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>And yet</p><p>we return to love</p><p>as something sacred.</p><p>Something worth protecting.</p><p>Something worth repairing.</p><p><br/></p><p>But repair is not silence.</p><p>It is not endurance.</p><p>It is not the quiet acceptance </p><p>of harm</p><p>in the name of commitment.<br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Love does not mean</p><p>you owe your body.</p><p><br/></p><p>Marriage does not mean</p><p>you surrender your boundaries.</p><p>And consent</p><p>real consent</p><p>is not just the absence of “no,”</p><p>it is the presence</p><p>of safety, of choice, of self.</p><p><br/></p><p>So yes,<br/></p><p>there must be limits.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not because love is restricted,</p><p>but because people</p><p>are not possessions.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not because desire is wrong,</p><p>but because dignity</p><p>must remain untouched.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because without limits,<br/></p><p>What we call love </p><p>can slowly become </p><p>something else entirely.<br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p>
WHAT CONSENT CANNOT HOLD
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