The Subtle Art Of Expectation - by Letters From Delight ⁠♡♡

"I don't get hurt easily because I don't expect anything from anyone". Please wrap it up!. Does that mean you are numb?. When we conclude or say that we don't expect things from people, it sounds weird because we give out. And even when we don't give out, we'll always still have an atom of expectation in us. Sometimes it is quietly crawling into your skin and trying to disappear. On the day's where depression creeps in and you can't speak out. When you are actually going through a hard phase. Some phases do not demand you speak or give out. It's you sitting all by yourself, in your corner. But somehow you still expect that someone should reach out and ask "Dee what's wrong?". To sit with you and inhale the breeze. Moments like this do not require you to give out anything but expect something. So basically, there's still some sort of expectation here. It's in wanting someone to ask "how are you" twice. Whether we like it or not, somehow, somewhere, sometime, we expect things from people. I feel like people don't talk about the weight of expectations enough. I hate the guilt that comes with expectations. The guilt people and society have attached to it. It shouldn't be. Suddenly they stopped texting. You used to be so chatty. Feelings didn't grow. It's just that an act was being planted and watered for the longest, but suddenly it stopped receiving what sustained it. Now it's drying, and dryness obviously means "I need us speaking to survive". " I need you ".... maybe not to survive, but to feel ecstacy. Just stay. When we say we don't expect things from people it's unrealistic. Humans are naturally wired to yearn. For love, money, career, position, time and more. Even life expects things from us. How comes the Humans I spend all my days with suddenly think expectations are a sign of low self esteem or lack of self love?". My parents: Two people cohabit without my consent. I survived amongst many sperms according to biology. I didn't choose to survive. Here I am living. Not my dream life. But at least I'm pretty, funny and my own best friend. Back to context>>From birth I didn't know what expectation meant in literal sense. I just knew I was nurtured because I was supposed to. Now I'm grown and I'm not satisfied with what I've met in life. Part of which are my parents mistakes. Of course I expected them to have done better. I've had expectations and still have. Because even when they try to give me their best, my "self" demands more . Somehow expectations creeped in while growing up. My lecturer expects a 5.0gpa from me. Which is totally fine because he teaches me. My parents expect a daughter that would make them proud. Which is totally fine.My babe expects me to be loyal. Which is totally fine. Tinibu expects me to vote for him again. Which is still total fine. [Not really] sighs.... Nigerian men wants me to sit underneath them because I am a woman. Which is totally fine. (Not really though, because mtcheew). So everyone expects, it only becomes a problem when you feel entitled. Because expectations don't equal entitlement. Expectations are not something we sit up to one day and say"today I decide to start expecting". It's a flow that happens naturally. When your needs are being fed or starved, your mind automatically detects a change and makes you question things. We've been made to feel like our expectations are cringe. Like I should just live numb. I should pretend I don't want to spend time with you, when I actually want you to hold my hands and gently rub them. When I actually want to hug you so bad we land on the sofar laughing. When I actually want to be all goofy around you and not judged. When I actually want to be seen, acknowledged and applauded in a room full of distinguished people. When I want to eat okpa [a Nigerian delicacy made with Barbara groundnut] instead of creamy pasta. When I want to be genuinely loved and kept. When I want intentional friends. I know there are consequences to expectations. I am not denying it. I am only stating that it's okay to. Listen. Expectations are not a definition of your self worth. They only show you gave out and deserve something in return. They just mirror that you need to be seen. You have a soft spot. You are alive- blood pumping through your veins and a beating heart. Are expectations weird?

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