THE PHILES - by Queensley Okon

GOOD MORNING MY NEIGHBORS!!!!!!!!🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞 Hope you are having a wonderful weekend, especially my Muslim brothers and sisters (Sallah approaches) Please endeavor to send my ram, whether by courier or witchcraft, I'm available to take deliveries 😗😗😌😌 Anyway, to the business of today; we would be having a vocabulary lesson on different PHILES Yes, I know you are happy. Today, I will not be attacking your spoken grammar or usage of words, but just educating you. Who knows, you might find something you would use going forward? Jump in on the fun people because it is about to be a Phily ride(I just made that up)😁😁😁🎭🎭1. POGNOPHILE My beardless guys have been attacked every fortnight for the inability of their beards to connect or even grow. On behalf of my gender, I apologize. I love a beardless guy. Sadly, this post is not about you but the lovers of beards(so sorry 😐😐). Yes, a person that is into beards or love beards is called a pognophile. So when you see that girl or guy with an insane fondness for beards, (anyway you swing) this should come to your mind.2. SELENOPHILE As I write this, "Talking to the moon" plays fondly in my head. Okay let me sing it to myself now, ".... talking to the moonnnnnnnnnnnnn, tryna get to you......." Okay let me pause, there is a piece to be written girl!!! A selenophile is not a Selena Gomez lover, no, but someone who loves the moon. Now you understand the Bruno Mars reference 😀😀😀3. STIGMATOPHILE Okay who is a stigmatophile? I'm sure your first guess is someone who loves stigmas(shakes my head in grief and disappointment) Sometimes, words are really not what they seem to be or look like. But look at your body, how many markings do you have? How many ear piercings do you have? None, two, three? Oh great, you are still not the African parent prayer point, that's awesome. Why did I ask you to check for markings? Because tattoos, duh!!! A stigmatophile is a lover of tattoos and piercings. There, I said it 🤔😎4. HELIOPHILE I know you have learnt your lesson from the last one so what came to your head when you saw this? Some smart people may say helicopters Some will still disappoint me and say Hell(your case is still there) A heliophile is a lover of the sun. Well, it comes close to loving hell because I don't understand how you would be that obsessed with the sun, I mean heat oh, and you just had to be named appropriately to make up for this love. At least, they got that one right.5. CYNOPHILE A cynophile is a lover of canines and by canines, I mean dogs. Yes dogs, not your teeth, so please close your buccal cavity.6. COIMETROPHILE This one is a bit off because I might have to call you a vampire. Seems like a more appropriate nomenclature because why, just why? A coimetrophile, wait for it, is a lover of cemeteries!!!! Like you love cemeteries for what exactly?? You see why I posit vampire seems more likely, because what is so romantic about a cemetery? Are you having dinners discussing the past with Napoleon or Micheal Jackson just happens to be giving you a great concert? Are you networking with Rockefeller or getting political advice from MKO Abiola or Abacha? I just would really like to know. Okay we will not discriminate so inclusion and diversity 😁😁 Anyway I think I'm done so let's just move on7. AILUROPHILE I am pretty sure once the cat lovers saw the canine comment, they wanted a piece. You are getting your piece now AILUROPHILE! Yes, you already figured it out, an ailurophile is a lover of cats. Look at you, you Einstein, you deserve some pounded yam and ofe nsala with better fish and meat. I'm on autophagy so excuse my french8. AUTOPHILE An autophile is a lover of solitude Peace and quiet are their watchwords The introverts are dancing and prancing because this is their jam No dear, even extroverts can be autophilesAnd yes my car lovers, an autophile is also a car lover9. CERAUNOPHILE I love Thor, don't you? As a marvel fan, if you do not love Thor, please leave this conversation Na, I'm kidding 😂😂😂 Love who you want If you are a Thor lover like me, then you probably would enjoy this one I don't but I can't speak for you A ceraunophile is someone who loves lightning and thunder. Y'all surprise me everyday with the things you love but to each his or her own.10. BIBLIOPHILE My personal favorite and that is because it involves books So yes, a bibliophile is someone who loves books😎😎 A recommendation: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson You can also read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell Also Blue Ocean Strategy if you're looking to become an entrepreneurThe Bible is also an interesting read as a Christian Great reads11. CHIONOPHILE A chionophile is someone who finds comfort in cold weathers. I guess Canada and Iceland have a haven for you if you fall into this category. And we have come to the end of our session today 😌😌 You would learn more next week or soon enough, who knows So let me know which tickled your fancy and which is weird to you?

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