The Finished Man - by Adedeji Adeoba

She called him the “lover boy, a finished man’The kind who sends good morning texts at 5:59 a.m. just to be first.Who books Bolt rides before she asks.He didn’t wait for love to happen — he gave it room to breathe.He met Temitope (not real name) and fell fast — maybe too fast.After just a couple calls, he had started personalizing her as his.  He built routines around her: regular night calls, random calls and texts while at work.  He wasn’t rich, no.But he loved loudly.Softly.Generously. Temitope on the other hand had goals on a whiteboard. Dreams with Excel timelines. She liked him — his heart, his attentiveness, the way he made her feel seen.But something always felt off for her. And one night after a serious conversation (MPR style), she let it spill: “You’re a great guy… but I don’t think you’re career-driven. You’re just… too comfortable.” Then she paused, and hit the part that stung most:“Also, I feel like you’re not even saving. You just spend anyhow — even on me. That’s not wise.” That broke him. Because the food wasnt just good — it was affection.The Bolt rides weren’t a waste — they were care. These were his ways of showing love in a world where he had little else to give. He was building something — a relationship that felt safe and real. She didn’t see it that way.She saw a man pouring from an empty cup.A man without a financial “plan.” A man who hadn’t saved for her, but was still spending on her. So she left. And just like that, he became the “Finished Man.” He ghosted friends for a while. He fell ill and lost some weight.  The smiles faded. But over time, he began to understand:She wasn’t entirely wrong.He did need to get serious.Not because she left, but because he finally saw himself in the mirror — loving with good intentions but no structure. Now?He’s building. Slowly. Quietly.He’s still soft, but wants to get smarter.Still generous, but wiser. He no longer wants to spend to prove his love.He wants to invest— in himself, his future, and eventually, in someone who sees that love isn’t a spreadsheet. Because if there’s one thing heartbreak taught him, it’s this: Some people will only love you for who you could become — not for who you already are.And that’s okay.But next time, he’ll choose someone who sees both.

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