The Dilemma of an African Child

At some point in life, almost every African child has had that moment. You sit in your house, look around, look at your parents, maybe after they’ve just shouted your name for the third time that morning, and you quietly whisper to yourself: “I can't wait to leave this house.” In your mind, leaving home feels like freedom. There's no one constantly monitoring you, no more random errands, no more questions like “Where are you going?”, “Who are you talking to?”, “When are you coming back?”, or “What's the name of your boyfriend?” You imagine a life where you can finally breathe. A life where nobody is shouting your name from the other room every ten minutes. A life when you're not doing house chores like an unpaid servant Because truthfully, growing up in an African home can be… an experience.Let's just describe it as such. Especially when you’re becoming a teenager. You’re trying to discover yourself, make small decisions, live your little teenage life, and feel independent. But your parents? They are still seeing you from the same perspective they saw you when you were five years old. In their eyes, you are still the child who cannot cross the road alone. My mom looked at me one day and said 'Ehn Ehn, that small girl of yesterday is now big and doing shakara'Someone should please explain to this woman that years has passed and I’m now an adult. Another thing is the timing of African parents; Honestly, their timing needs to be studied. Imagine a boy finally gathering the courage and approach you. The conversation is flowing. Maybe he’s even trying to say something sweet. Then suddenly, from nowhere, your mom’s voice echoes: “IS THAT THE MAGGI I SENT YOU TO BUY?!” At that moment, your entire reputation has collapsed. You'll be be like the floor should open and swallow you Or when you're on the phone laughing with your friends, just enjoying yourself, and your parents pass by and drop that line: “You are always on your phone. Who are you talking to?” Or that moment you don't know what enters your parents and they come to you and say something like: “Unlock your phone, I want to see what you're always doing there that you spend hours on it” It's not like I'm hiding but is there not something in the constitution that's against that Most people reading this already know the feeling. If you grew up in an African home, you have probably experienced moments like this more times than you can count. So naturally, you begin to dream of escape. Then school finishes. University admission comes. And suddenly that dream starts to feel real.You pack your bags with excitement, thinking: “Finally… I’m leaving this house.” Freedom at last. No more constant supervision. No more unending chores; especially if you're a last born like me where it sometimes feels like every small thing in the house is somehow your responsibility. You step into university life thinking you've entered paradise.But what nobody prepared you for… is the Shege that comes with the freedom.University will humble you in ways you never imagined. Suddenly you start remembering the things you once complained about.That food you used to ignore at home that you think it's a normal thing.That peace of mind you had? You now realize it was luxury.The comfort of knowing that if anything goes wrong, someone is there to help you? You start to miss that too. Before long, you catch yourself counting the days to holidays.Not because you want to show your parents how independent you are.But because you want to go back home, eat good food, sleep peacefully, and enjoy the comfort of your mother's care again. And that’s the funny dilemma of the African child. When you’re at home, you can’t wait to leave.But once you leave, you start looking for every possible opportunity to come back.You want freedom, but nobody really tells you that freedom comes with responsibilities, struggles, and sometimes serious stress.Then you finally understand that popular saying: “School is not for the weak.” So you find yourself in this confusing middle ground. You run to school for independence.Then you run back home during holidays for peace. At some point you start asking yourself the big question:“What exactly is the way out of this dilemma?” Honestly… I wish I had the answer.But for now, we all just keep enduring it together.Because no matter how dramatic home can be sometimes, there’s still something special about it. There’s love there.And more importantly…There is always plenty of food.

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