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Bu Kun
Student @ Adekunle Ajasin University of Akungba, Akoko
THE COST OF OUTGROWING ONESELF
<p><br></p><p>Sometimes, the version of you that people miss the most is the one you outgrew to survive. That old version might have been easier to love because it fit into their expectations—quiet when they needed silence, agreeable when they wanted peace, predictable when they feared change. But that version of you wasn’t really you; it was a survival mechanism, a mask you wore to avoid conflict, rejection, or disappointment.</p><p><br></p><p>Growth is brutal. It’s messy. It’s painful. You shed parts of yourself that once felt safe but ended up suffocating. You stop pretending. You speak up. You set boundaries. You demand better from yourself and others. And suddenly, the people who loved the old you don’t recognize this new version. They might resist. They might push back. They might accuse you of “changing too much” or “not caring anymore.” But here’s the truth: you didn’t change too much — you just stopped shrinking to fit into their comfort zone.</p><p><br></p><p>The practical side? You have to accept that growth will cost you relationships. You will lose people who were only there for the easy, smaller version of yourself. And that’s okay. Real relationships — the ones worth keeping — aren’t about clinging to who you were. They’re about embracing who you’re becoming, even if that person is unfamiliar, messy, or challenging.</p><p><br></p><p>You also have to be intentional about how you grow. Don’t grow just to prove people wrong or to punish them for their limitations. Grow because you want to live fully and authentically. Make space for your new identity in your daily habits, your choices, and the company you keep. And prepare for loneliness sometimes—because transformation can feel like walking through a wilderness where no one else dares to follow.</p><p><br></p><p>At the end of the day, the only person you have to live with forever is yourself. So the hardest but most necessary practice is this: honor your growth fiercely, protect your evolving truth, and don’t apologize for becoming too much for some people to handle. Those people weren’t meant to carry your future anyway.</p><p><br></p><p><br></p>
THE COST OF OUTGROWING ONESELF
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Bu Kun
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