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Student @ Lagos State University
SYNC ERROR: LIFE CALENDAR
<p>My brother is getting married next Saturday.</p><p><br/></p><p>At least,</p><p><br/></p><p>that’s what the invitation says.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Because if I’m being honest,</p><p><br/></p><p>this won’t be the first time</p><p>something important in his life</p><p>happens… without me.</p><p><br/></p><p>He graduated.</p><p>I wasn’t there.</p><p><br/></p><p>He got engaged.</p><p>I wasn’t there.</p><p><br/></p><p>Now he’s getting married.</p><p>And somehow,</p><p><br/></p><p>again,</p><p><br/></p><p>life is asking me to choose</p><p>between being present</p><p>and being promoted.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>Dubai.</p><p>Leadership program.</p><p>Six days.</p><p>Fast track.</p><p>$60,000 increase.</p><p><br/></p><p>It sounds like success.</p><p>It always does.</p><p><br/></p><p>But I’ve started to notice something strange.</p><p><br/></p><p>Every time my life is about to “move forward”—</p><p>I am required to be somewhere else.</p><p><br/></p><p>And “somewhere else”</p><p>always looks important.</p><p><br/></p><p>Always sounds urgent.</p><p><br/></p><p>Always feels like</p><p>if I miss it, I’ll regret it.</p><p><br/></p><p>But what about the things I already missed?</p><p><br/></p><p>Because nobody circles back to ask:</p><p>“How did it feel not being there?”</p><p><br/></p><p>Nobody calculates</p><p>the cost of absence.</p><p><br/></p><p>We only measure growth</p><p>in numbers.</p><p>Titles.</p><p>Flights.</p><p>Upgrades.</p><p><br/></p><p>But I am starting to suspect,</p><p>there is another kind of loss.</p><p><br/></p><p>The kind that doesn’t announce itself.</p><p><br/></p><p>The kind where your brother stops expecting you.</p><p><br/></p><p>Where “he’ll come”</p><p>quietly becomes</p><p>“he’s probably busy.”</p><p><br/></p><p>Where your seat is still there,</p><p><br/></p><p>but your presence is no longer assumed.</p><p>And that is a different kind of demotion.</p><p><br/></p><p>Because what exactly am I being promoted into…</p><p>if the people I love</p><p>start adjusting to my absence?</p><p><br/></p><p>This is not about one wedding.</p><p><br/></p><p>This is about a pattern</p><p>I didn’t realize I was creating.</p><p><br/></p><p>Where every milestone of his</p><p>has to compete</p><p>with momentum in mine.</p><p><br/></p><p>And somehow,</p><p>momentum keeps winning.</p><p><br/></p><p>Not because I don’t care.</p><p>But because it always comes dressed as:</p><p>“Just this one time.”</p><p><br/></p><p>But “just this one time”</p><p>is starting to look like a habit.</p><p><br/></p><p>And habits don’t break loudly.</p><p>They build quietly,</p><p>until one day</p><p>you look around</p><p>and realize</p><p>you were there for everything that grew your career…</p><p>and missing from everything</p><p>that grew your relationships.</p><p><br/></p><p>So now the question is not:</p><p>“Should I go for the wedding or Dubai?”</p><p><br/></p><p>The question is:</p><p>How many important days</p><p>can happen without me</p><p>before I stop being part of them?</p><p>💥 </p><p>Some promotions don’t come with a new title.</p><p>They come with people</p><p>learning how to live without you.</p>
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