RELA'Y'TIONSHIPS - by Samuel Ibok

One of my favourite track events is the 4x100m relay race. Against popular opinion, this event is more about proper baton exchange than speed. Maybe it's a mixture of both. The fastest team doesn't always win, and this plays out when the baton falls. Most times, we play down the fact that most relationships are transactional. For me, that is at the very core of human relationships. You may argue that it's unfair to ask your friends for stuff, but I think that's just how things work. It is what it is! Humans are asking beings! I think people fall out when one party perceives these transactions to be one-sided. In a certain way, the person is justified.As we age in life, our circles become smaller, and we lose touch with friends we thought we would be attached to for life. Truly, life is in phases. I'm a big fan of keeping in touch with your guys, but I will say this: do not beat yourself up because you haven't reached out to someone in a while. I think we must change the narrative that not talking to someone for a while means the person is no longer your friend. If that's how Instagram works, I would probably have only 10 followers left!I have a friend that I speak to probably once every 6–7 months. Irrespective of the frequency of conversations, we still bond and vibe well. The call could last for ours, and the goosebumps are still there. I know life gets lonely at times, and we need human connections to stay in touch with sanity, but we must not make grave images in the name of friendship. Put differently, we shouldn't find meaning only when we are with others. That's pitiful and would only hurt you in the long run. How dare you shrink your value and self-worth because people are currently not in touch with you? You have yourself. You are married first to yourself! I hope that makes sense. We must learn to live with ourselves and enjoy our company. What becomes of you when those you hold dear die? For those who are constantly taking without reciprocating value, you have to change. People will get tired of you. Don't work under the impression that you're not asking too much. That may be entitlement in disguise. People are not necessarily obligated to come through for you. Sometimes we feel like reaching out to certain people but are held back by the construction in our minds that those people are currently bigger than us or are doing better than us. Ogbeni, reach out! Sha no go de bill person too much abeg!Unlike in a relay, where you get disqualified for improper baton exchange, in real life, you could pick up the pieces and rebuild. Lasting friendships stem from deliberate efforts by both parties.Add value. More love, less ego.Cheers!

Other insights from Samuel Ibok

Referral Earning

Points-to-Coupons