Pepper Soup, Polo Shirt & Triplets

You know how they say truth is stranger than fiction? Well, let me tell you about my friend’s parents, because this story eh… if Nollywood hears it, they’ll turn it into a blockbuster in one weekend. So here it is. --- The Coconut-Head Divorce My friend’s mum and dad were married for 15 years. They even dated for years before tying the knot, and the whole family thought, “Ah, this one is forever.” Forever kwa. They had just one child together, my friend’s elder brother, before the coconut-head drama began. According to the mum, wahala started because her husband went and slept with her elder sister, the one who had been praying for a baby for 20 years. But according to the dad, it was the mum who suggested it o! She “green-lighted” the whole plan, telling him to “assist” her sister just once or twice. Assistive mission, they called it. 🤦🏾‍♂️ But Papa, being a man of great stamina and questionable wisdom, apparently went there not once or twice, but over fifteen times. And still, no pregnancy. At this point, his mum started suspecting that both of them were planning to corner her husband and sideline her from her own marriage. She almost rearranged her sister’s face like Tyson vs Holyfield. And guess who stepped in to defend the sister? Her husband, the same man at the center of the scandal. That was the final straw. His mum packed out. His dad didn’t chase her. Coconut head plus coconut head equals four years, six months, three weeks of divorce. --- Two Separate Lives Life moved on. His mum, being fine like sweet jollof rice, quickly had men chasing her like flies around palm wine. She ended up with one of Lagos’ finest big boys. Their romance was hot gist all over town, with expensive dates and coded traditional marriage. Meanwhile, his dd? Let’s just say… he tried. He had relationship after relationship, but the women all left him. They whispered that “Baba no fit do again. Engine don knock.” Things were not looking good for the once-stamina king. --- The Pepper Soup Visit After four years, news broke that Dad had fallen sick. My friend’s elder brother begged their mum to just check on him. Even her new Lagos big-boy husband said, “Baby, just go. Cook him pepper soup, greet him small, then come back.” So Mama carried her pot, bought fresh catfish, and marched down to Dad’s house like Florence Nightingale. The moment his dad saw her, he claimed something mysterious happened. His sickness vanished instantly. He said it was as if life returned to his bones. Not just his bones o—he said there was also “a powerful kick in his trousers.” You see this man? 😂 And instead of thanking her for the pepper soup, guess what he did? He started forming romance. Begging her to just act like his wife for the few hours she would be around. His mum refused at first. She knew his tricks. But somehow, somehow… --- The Polo Shirt Trap Mum noticed there wasn’t much water in the house. Out of pity, she went to fetch some for him. But before going, she changed into one of his polo shirts to avoid wetting her dress. Sharp man. The moment she stepped out, Dad grabbed her clothes, dumped them in a bucket, poured Omo and water, and started scrubbing like a laundryman. When she returned, she saw her best dress soaked and foamy. “Why are you washing my clothes?!” she barked. His dad replied calmly, “My wife, I saw pepper stain and decided to help you.” Before she could get angry, heaven decided to assist Dad’s wicked plan. A massive rain began, beating her cloth mercilessly. From 6:00 p.m. till 10:30 p.m., the rain fell non-stop. That meant one thing, his mum was trapped. --- The Bedroom Cold War She had no choice but to sleep over. She stubbornly refused to enter the bedroom, choosing the parlour. But Dad, being smart, opened all the windows. The night cold humbled her until she carried herself to the bed. Of course, she turned her back to him. But as the Bible says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Let’s just say… after some shakara, she gave in. According to his mum, that night was the best she’d ever had in her life. According to his dad, those three days after, they didn’t leave the bed. It was just food, bath, sex, repeat. For three solid days. --- The Grand Comeback By the end of that marathon, his mum agreed to stay. One month later? Pregnant. Not one baby. Not two. But triplets; two girls and a boy. Her Lagos big-boy husband was finished. He sent his people to beg her to come back, even tried to drag her with elders, but his dad chased them off with uppercuts. (Remember, he was her boxing coach.) In the end, his mum never returned to collect her old belongings. His dad’s people brought her things back to her like UPS delivery. That’s how their “pepper soup reunion” turned into a comeback marriage. And my friend? That's how he became one of those triplets. The only boy amongst the trio. --- The Irony Oh, his mum’s Lagos big-boy husband? He divorced her after the scandal and married her friend. But till today, his parents are still together, arguing, laughing, and fighting like Tom and Jerry. --- Lesson Sometimes, love doesn’t end with divorce papers. Sometimes, it just needs pepper soup, one polo shirt, and stormy rain to reset the whole marriage. --- 👉🏾 Now let me ask you: <ul><li>If you were the dad, would you have played the polo shirt trick?</li><li>If you were the mum, would you have fallen for it?</li></ul>

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