Men are Polygamous in nature - by Emaa Ezeifeka

Men are polygamous in nature because for the longest time, that is the lie they’ve been fed by the society. There are stories, jokes, movies, songs etc that encourage cheating men. In Nigeria, women are shamed for everything; we are shamed when we cheat, we are shamed when we’re cheated on, we’re even shamed when we’ve been molested. During my uni days, one babe was almost raped by a cultist and her neighbor said “How can she accuse Dave of trying to rape her. Breast she no get, nyash she no get. Wetin him wan use her do?” I was embarrassed that a woman like me could spew such nonsense. A lot of men were never given the “sex talk” by their parents/guardians. Most of the things they knew in early stages of adolescence, were taught by their peers, movies, books and eventually experience. Why will a man “keep himself” for marriage if he was never told to do so ?. Why will a man respect women, if he was never taught to do so ?. Why will a man be ashamed for getting a girl pregnant if he was never told “if you get a girl pregnant, you will bring shame to yourself and the family”?. While I believe that at some point, we have to stop blaming our parents for not doing their part, we can’t dispute the fact that their “teachings” lay the foundation for who we eventually become and the values we have. Okay so, your parents forked up… what have you done as a man to polish yourself since you now know better ?. I don’t believe that “polygamy” is a gender thing. Anyone can be a hoe, irrespective of gender. Both men and women have polygamous inclinations. We need to stop lying to ourselves. Men can actually be 100% faithful. They just need to make the choice and work towards it. Cheating is reckless, being with numerous persons at once is not “cool”. Being called a “bad boy” is not the flex you think it is. The only time polygamy is acceptable is when all the parties involved are fully aware and give consent to it otherwise you’re just being a clown, like Yul. People say “staying faithful to one person is not easy”. That’s true, but is handling more than one woman easy? Is sleeping with the whole town easy?. Is it easier to constantly tell lies and force yourself to remember all the lies you’ve told- as opposed to being honest and truthful to your partner?. Being faithful to one person is not easy but when placed side by side with polygamy, it is way easier. All it takes is effort and commitment.

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