<p>Soon, it will be a year,</p><p>and I still haven't found you.</p><p>I have uprooted every flower in your garden,</p><p>until my hands are black as soot,</p><p>and dirt falls freely from my fingertips.</p><p><br/></p><p>I thought the canna lilies were hiding you</p><p>and the gentleness of your spirit</p><p>beneath their root,</p><p>where you always kept your touch</p><p>before sunrise.</p><p>So I gutted every single one of them,</p><p>but you were not there.</p><p><br/></p><p>I felled the banana tree,</p><p>the one that stood like</p><p>a green cathedral in the sun.</p><p>I thought that if I unfurled the broad leaves,</p><p>I would find your laughter</p><p>gently brushing the fronds,</p><p>waiting to tell me all the secrets</p><p>that swelled its stocky branches.</p><p><em>But you were not there.</em></p><p><br/></p><p>The moringa tree could not escape my vigour,</p><p>you had to be there,</p><p>behind the slender trunk,</p><p>under the white blossoms,</p><p>plucking the tender leaves,</p><p>with a song about memories</p><p>playing in the wind.</p><p>So, I cut it down,</p><p>the oba tree,</p><p>and the hibiscus,</p><p>and the tomato stalk you were so proud of.</p><p>I pulled all their velvety petals,</p><p>and the scented geraniums, and papaya trees.</p><p>I took my bleeding heart in my hands,</p><p>and sliced through every single piece,</p><p>searching for a glimpse of you:</p><p>your eyes,</p><p>your hands,</p><p>your feet,</p><p>your heart,</p><p>and even that old wrapper</p><p>that reeked of balm</p><p>and the scandals of the generations before you.</p><p>But still…</p><p><br/></p><p>you were not there.</p><p><br/></p><p>If I could find just a strand of hair,</p><p>tangled in the stems of the moringa,</p><p>I would weave it into mine.</p><p>If I could uncover just one whisper,</p><p>one smile, one second of your laughter,</p><p>buried deep in the soil,</p><p>I’d give everything to plant it,</p><p>water it with my own tears,</p><p>sing grace to its budding leaves,</p><p>and hope, with bleeding knees,</p><p>that it grows into your voice.</p><p><br/></p>
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