It goes on... - by Jefferson Nnadiekwe

One of the hardest truths we'd often have to face in the course of living on this earth, is - life goes on. Have you ever felt a loss so deeply personal and painful, that all you wanted was for the world to stop and let you grieve? It might be the loss of a family member or a friend, or maybe even a romantic partner. My first experience with loss was at a tender age, and it was the death of my immediate elder sister - I was only 8 years old, and wasn't able to grasp the full emotional weight of what had happened - of course I cried and all. One might say it was fortunate for me, that it was around the festive season, and there were activities to distract me. The thing though, is I saw the effect the loss of a child had on my parents. There they were in this pain no parent wishes to experience, while the rest of the world set up lights, and sang carols - same people that comforted them, were also making preparations for the coming celebrations. The hard truth was that the world was moving on, and it seemed unfair. Fast forward to 2021 and my second experience with losing a member of my nuclear family. When my Dad passed, my family was hit hard. As an adult, this time I was able to feel every sting death brings with it. But as you can guess, despite the tears, emptiness, and heart aches; life carried on. And it sucked! I didn't want life to go on that fast! I needed it to wait till I was ready. I mean it had just dealt a hard blow, so the least it can do was to allow me reorient myself. Ladies and gentlemen, my feelings meant squat - there was burial preparations to get through, while attending diligently to professional duties. Now I don't want to jump into conclusions, but I can guess that I'm not the only one who has felt this way. And it doesn't even have to be about the death of a loved one. Have you ever made a mistake at work or in your personal relationships, and things just keep moving before you can fix it? Even the high moments of your life don't seem to last long enough for you to savour. It's often 'enjoy it before the wheels turn'... again, that sucks! Sometimes, I have nostalgia attacks - memories from my childhood, memories from secondary school and university, memories from past relationships etc. These memories start of leaving a smile on my face, which eventually ends with a feeling of wanting.Yet, it doesn't matter how much I want to relive those moments, they're gone and aren't coming back.

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