TwoCents | I want to embrace real life. - by Elizabeth Toluwanimi Olawale

It was a hot evening. I can feel sweat dripping down my back; I was not outside, but I could feel it right from my room.I sat on the plastic chair in my room, looking out the window. My hands rested in my lap. I felt blank and couldn't focus on my thoughts. If someone had asked me, 'What's on your mind?' I would have had to ask myself again, 'What's on your mind, girl?' I had goals and plans in mind, but I couldn't even put them into writing. I guess those plans seemed too overwhelming, and my mind couldn't even concentrate on them. I snapped back to reality and wondered, "What is the point of getting lost in thought if my mind isn’t really engaged?" I picked up my phone and checked my emails. Yeah, I've hit that point in life where I need to look at my emails every day, like my life depends on it.  Then, I came across a question from James Clear's 3-2-1 newsletter: 'What do I need to let go of this year to create space for what I really want?'  I readjusted my sitting posture and read the question over and over again. I'm not good at answering questions; I do avoid anything that has to do with- "why".So, at first, I wanted to ignore it. But, I couldn't help but write down my thoughts in my journal.  What do I want?What do I need to let go of? It was difficult to answer, but I felt I needed to do it at that moment, it would help me clear my mind. I want to grow my service brand, write more content, and assist people in boosting their productivity. I also want to help them with self-related areas, like self-respect, self-esteem and so on. Those three things have been on my mind constantly. You might wonder why they're bothering me. To be honest, the issue wasn’t carrying out the plans that would help me achieve my goals.  But, I was not ready to let go of the comfort I have been enjoying for years- those times when I wake and scroll through the media without a specific purpose, I couldn't imagine myself getting too serious. I never wanted to let myself get into deep work that would make my friends see me as being too serious. I never wanted them to have the feeling that they were wasting their valuable time. I never wanted to let go of my space, I didn't want to wake up to messages from people needing me to hold them accountable or to help them on their self-development journey .                                         .............A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.I want to grow and live to my fullest potential, and this begins outside my comfort zone. I am grateful that I embraced that life a few months ago, and along this journey I realised, life won't always be easy or perfect.But, will  you embrace it as it is?

Other insights from Elizabeth Toluwanimi Olawale