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Queensley Okon Information Officer @ Covenant University
city Ota, Nigeria
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In Relationships 5 min read
GOT A BIG EGO

<span class="html-content"> <p>Hi people!!!!!</p> <p>Who missed me? I'm sure you did, don't even pretend like you did not. </p> <p>I missed you too and here I am for your viewing and reading pleasure.</p> <p>So, I really wanted to write about something else today but I saw one post that made me laugh out in concern</p> <p>Women were told not to marry men if the men caught them cheating.</p> <p>Infact, it has been a trend on social media as you would see takes from men saying "if you cheat on me, we are ending this, I don't care, see me as childish" and all the gibberish they keep spilling.</p> <p>Some go as far as defending this nonsense with how it bruises a man's ego and all that balderdash. </p> <p>That's the laughable thing about it you know. Society or whoever has constantly pushed this silly narrative that a man has a lot of ego and it is so fragile that he lacks forgiveness. </p> <p>But this forgiveness should come easily from women when men cheat. We don't have egos oh, and our emotions are not important. We were created to just cater to the man's ego and emotions while ours sink into oblivion 🤣🤣🤣🤣</p> <p>All these childish takes make me laugh at the idiocy of some of the people who take these things to heart. Booboo, every thing you do is a decision and as you mature, you have to unlearn a lot of the childish things you teach yourself. </p> <p>Cheating is not a good thing for anybody and has never been. Just because you have been allowed to get away with it does not mean people coming up would take it from you. </p> <p>Man or woman, if you have decided to make a decision to commit yourself to another person, then you have made a decision to respect and not cheat on them. When this cheating occurs, don't think they would be good with it. Anything they want to do is up to them at that stage, male or female.</p> <p>With marriage, it gets tricky because you already vowed "for better or worse" so maybe,while the decision is on your partner to decide if they want to stay or not, it also hampers the trust they would have had in you if they stayed.</p> <p>I digress</p><p>With women, we have taken this nonsense from men because we were taught that marriage is something to aspire to and it is what defines us(as if I will marry myself)</p> <p>Well, you think women's egos are not bruised? Let me change that for you</p> <p>Women have to subject themselves to ridiculous procedures in order to "keep her man"</p> <p>Women have to keep up different skin care routines for her skin to keep popping even when she gets older so her man "would not look outside"</p> <p>Women have to cake on makeup just to ensure her man "has something to look at"</p> <p>Women have to learn unnecessary things in the bedroom so her 'man doesn't get bored or look outside "</p> <p>Every women's magazine always touts the same message, "Keeping your man", "how to not make him bored in the bedroom", "what to cook to make him go crazy". How to seduce him in the perfect way or dress". Yes, our egos are very much not bruised🙄🙄🙄</p> <p>Jaruma became a sensation because women just have to keep their men. The men don't need to put in any effort, it's all on the women. </p> <p>And when you finally meet a woman who is not interested in keeping you but wants someone who actually wants her, your "ego" is bruised. All of a sudden, you have to put in work and it hurts you. </p> <p>When you don't weaken her resolve, you try to label her "tough", "unemotional", "manly"(this one is ironic), "bitchy" and you don't see the problem. Infact, you go on to tell her she won't see someone to marry, as if that's supposed to be some threat. Did she tell you she wants to get married? And even if she does, do you think you were the audition that would cut it for her? You have done nothing to make her seriously crave it silly.</p> <p>Some men think having money is all you need but I hate to break it to you, money is not game, it's a resource and anyone can make money. Or haven't you seen that there are more women in business now?</p> <p>I recently read a thread on how men and women in different parts of the world view relationships. A guy(thank God) had tweeted something about how a man would drop his salary amount when meeting a woman for the first time and be surprised when he has to keep up with that persona. What did you expect? You are touting how much you make and you get surprised when she always has one or two necessities that, get this, require financing. Don't be stupid please</p> <p>The thread emphasized that African women need to see a guy have money since that's lacking and in other parts of the world, the man actually has to do more than just have money. Infact, you don't need it as women have theirs and just need something more. I totally agree and that's why these African men continually see the women as furniture or acquisitions, rather than the humans they are. </p> <p>I also read a story where a guy complained about how his girlfriend made him do shopping for her marriage and he didn't know until a few days later when he saw pictures online. He cried and cursed her out but turns out, he had been cheating on her continually and she had begged him but he kept on being disrespectful until she decided to pay him in a numbing coin. That was her payback. Oh how unbruised her ego is, right? </p> <p>If you are going to be in a relationship and commit yourself to someone, and promise to respect them, then actually keep to the promise. It is not going to be easy and you may falter, we are human, that's an expectation, but try your best to respect your vows.</p> <p>And if you are going to be with someone, be with someone for the right reasons, not to cement your ego. Ego has no place in a relationship, that's for childish immature people. Forgiveness is going to be a daily, not only in lover relationships but friendships, family, business, religious. </p> <p>Above all, let God lead you in making these decisions if you serve him(I'm sure not all of us do). Read and learn about how to be a better partner. Don't think it will happen overnight, it is a process. </p> <p>Women, want more for yourself than a man who has money. You deserve someone who is all in and understands you. You should also improve yourself too so not everything would impress you.</p> <p>Men, money is not game, go for more and be more too. You deserve better than someone who would just f<em>*</em> you. Improve yourself. </p> <p>Well, my rant is over so what are your thoughts on the matter? </p> <p>Have a blessed and chilled Friday, I intend to</p> </span>


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