GOOD GIRLS DON’T WIN - by Ofonime Koko

I’m done being a good girl; let the streets judge me. They told us to cross our legs, lower our voices, and keep our desires small.  We obeyed, then we watched the rule-breakers get everything we were promised: love, money, visibility, power. The good girl blueprint is a scam. Let’s talk, because somewhere along the way, I started to feel like doing things "the right way" was overrated. How many times have you followed the rules, played fair, and still ended up with the short end of the stick? Meanwhile, the ones who bent every rule, cut every corner, and raised hell instead of keeping quiet are those being celebrated, promoted, married, and applauded.There’s something exhausting about being a good girl in a world that rewards rebellion, audacity, and sometimes, straight-up bad behavior. One experience that still lingers in my mind happened back in university. It was during an exam. I had studied hard, prepared well, done the late-night revisions and prayer-filled mornings. I walked into the hall with confidence, then I noticed what was happening around me. A student had a smart wristwatch synced with pictures of her notes, calmly scrolling and copying answers. And she wasn’t alone, others had papers tucked away, coded signals, sneaky tactics. It felt like I had stepped into a competition where everyone else had cheat codes. To be fair, I wasn’t the only person who followed the rules. There were others like me, people who genuinely studied and wrote with integrity. But if I’m being honest, most people that day were cheating, and when the results came out, those who cheated scored far better than I did (I think). <img src="/media/inline_insight_image/pexels-vimarco-9339535.jpg" style="background-color: transparent;" alt="">It was upsetting, but that wasn’t the moment I realized being good doesn’t always pay; it was just one of many examples. Life has shown me, again and again, that goodness doesn’t always lead to reward, and bad behavior isn’t always punished. But let me be very clear, that experience didn’t make me abandon my values. I didn’t suddenly decide to become someone who cheats. I don’t cheat. I don’t like cheating. I think it’s wrong, unfair, and for me, it’s a sin. Okay, except if I’m “cheating” my brother by taking his meat, sneaking his drink, using his expensive perfume, or casually rocking his T-shirts without asking. Or maybe cheating in a card game, Monopoly, Ludo, or any other game with my husband or future boo, because let’s be real, how else am I supposed to win sometimes? I’m just a girl.But real-life cheating? Exams, relationships, job interviews, business deals? Never. I still hold my morals close, I still carry my integrity with pride. That has not changed and will never change. Still, being good on its own is not enough. That’s the part they don’t tell you. They say if you’re good, good will come to you, but life isn’t a karma vending machine. Sometimes, the loud, messy, unapologetic ones are the ones who win, and that stings. Being good can sometimes make you a target. People use you, walk over you, silence you, and underrate you. Sometimes, you’re overlooked simply because you’re not causing chaos or demanding attention, and that’s when I realized… You need more than just goodness to survive. <img src="/media/inline_insight_image/pexels-cottonbro-6484951.jpg" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;" alt="">You need boldness. You need wisdom. You need boundaries. You need a little edge. You need the confidence to say no, the courage to walk away, the guts to speak up, because good girls get pushed aside when they’re too quiet about their power. So, this is not me telling you to become a villain, this is me telling you to stop thinking that being good means being small, silent, soft, or safe. This is your permission to stop shrinking. Stop waiting for the world to reward you for being nice. Be good, but don’t be weak. Be kind, but be sharp. Have integrity, but carry fire in your bones. Don’t be afraid to "burn" a few rules. Because good girls don’t win. Not unless they learn to stop playing by broken rules. I come in peace. Selah.

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