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3173;
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Anita Koske Kenya Migration Studies ERASMUS Joint Master Student. Building TwoCents #International Growth Team. @ THWS Würzburg
In Women 3 min read
Girl, don't marry him if he can't cook for you!
<p>Staying at home doesn't make you a woman. </p><p>Cooking doesn't make you a woman.</p><p>In fact, do you know in the East men stayed at home to protect treasures as women went herding?</p><p>In the pre-war ara, in the West, for example,  gender roles were so much defined because it was a men's world and as they went grinding and working long days to make ends meet, women were home-makers.</p><p>The roles shifted when men went to war, women had to leave homes to make guns and keep the economy running etc and when men came back, their homes were nolonger the same.</p><p>Women were out there making incomes,  that's what birthed the women rights revolution and all that, men now found it hard to find their place, and women now had all that a marriage could give them, and that's when things started getting rough. </p><p>Back to Africa, millenials,  on a large scale, is the first generation of women to really shift the balance. </p><p>These are women ascending in leadership positions, owning houses, cars, name it, at least for the larger part, roles that would have traditionally be the men's as providers.</p><p>Now, when people marry, we have households with both people having incomes , leaders in their own rights, but, a generation that still wants to stick to previous gender roles , the fault for this can tilt either way really. </p><p>This is where I say people confuse roles and purposes, men are leaders in their own right, but some are unable to fathom women as leaders, or in religious settings men confusing being the spiritual heads of their families vis a vis being the leaders/superior in society and finding it hard to be led by women in other settings, work etc, but I will not even go there now, let's stay in relationships.</p><p>So now, what most marriages and relationships are witnessing happened post-war in the West, of course, on a larger scale of comparison.</p><p>And now the persisting gender roles nolonger have a place, and in a society that's now difficult for men to be what they're taught that men should be, some resort to violence as their way to show they're 'the man'.</p><p>I know a mamaa that used to do everything for her kids and family coz her husband could not, and she had the means, and because this man had no other way to assert his manhood except the strength that he has, he beat her so bad. Recently a story was trending  in Kenya where a man stabbed a woman to death when she came home later than usual, and so many similar cases.</p><p>Also, women nolonger marry for all the other reasons like social protection, security etc, yet lies like 'being lucky to find a man' are still spread. Women are leaders, powerhouses, and men are lucky to have women, it isn;t even comparison, it is about complementing each others purposes and not rigidly hanging onto roles that are watering away the potential in you.</p><p>So girl, so the least you could do for yourself is get yourself someone who cares for you ,and  it starts with things like someone who can put together a meal for you! See, even the worlds's top chefs are men! Like that's the most trivial thing and least of things! I still hear of, men who can't cook for themselves? !and the same want to marry?</p><p>Statements like, 'a girl who can cook and clean' a woman's place is in the kitchen etc etc today shock me.</p><p>Watch out for Part 2 of this! Thanks for reading all the way:)</p><p><br/></p>

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