Echoes of Absence - by Ann Jasmine Tumininu

Echoes of Absence  As I walked down the hallway, which was engulfed in darkness, it was eerily silent; like there was no one occupying the rooms opposite me. A sense of nostalgia washed over me. Actually, there weren't many occupants in the rooms; probably that's why the lights were switched off. A few weeks back, this same hallway was alive and bubbly and bright. The rooms were lit up, filled with noises, deafening music, crazy laughter, and hysterical screams frequently emanating from various rooms. Occasionally, there were abrupt, sudden footsteps here and there, almost all at the same time. It was frustrating, infuriating and hair-raising back then, but now it looked dark, dead, and dull. The light in various rooms vanished, and the silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife. It so happened, as weird as it may seem, that as all my roommates who were heading home for the holiday departed, I didn't get the opportunity to bid them farewell or even see them leave. Only later did I realize that each person left at different times of days. Until they all left, leaving me and a few others who weren't going home yet behind. Staring at their empty beds made me reluctantly notice their absence, and unconsciously, I was left with no option but to let my mind wander: What was my relationship with them? How did I make the most of my time with them? How did I relate to them when we were all together? I know people can be challenging, but did I create happy moments with them or toxic ones? I've seen their attitude towards me, but how was mine towards them? I understand that some species of humans are tiresome but what did I do at my best? I've made conclusions about certain people, but how did I make everyone I came across feel?or rather , what was their perception of me? Was I a peace seeker or a trouble lover? What type of imprints would I leave on their hearts and minds? Most importantly, did I reconcile with those I had issues with before they left? And that's how it is with almost everyone; we forget or fail to realize that we won't have the opportunity to be with everyone forever. Yet, we take some people for granted, treat some with disdain, behave to others like they don't matter, and hold grudges against some, thinking we have time to right those wrongs. Then unexpectedly, such a person leaves, suddenly without your prediction or expectation, (or should I say "consultation") and your heart is filled with a deep sense of loss, hurt, and something else you never thought you'd feel—regret. Regrets on what actions you took, regrets on things you said, regrets on how you treated the person.  All these jumbled thoughts were creating incoherent noises, constituting a turmoil within me, my mind. In stark contrast to the lifeless, quiet hallway, so quiet, I could hear my footsteps echoing down the hallway.

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