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In Literature, Writing and Blogging 4 min read
And Then It Was Quiet
<p>Content warning ⚠️: This piece contains descriptions of a car accident, physical trauma, emotional distress, and themes of mortality and self-worth. Please read with care.</p><p>________</p><p><br/></p><p>It wasn’t supposed to be a big day.</p><p>Not a day she’d remember. Not a day anyone else would.</p><p>She had errands to run. A list in her head, casual and scattered.</p><p>Buy toothpaste.</p><p>Call her dad back.</p><p>Reply to that work email that had been sitting unopened since Friday.</p><p>Try not to cry when she saw that picture of her ex with someone else.</p><p>Maybe pick up coffee if she had time. Maybe not.</p><p>Just a regular Tuesday.</p><p>She remembers the sky.</p><p>How it looked like it might rain, but never did.</p><p>The clouds sat low, like they were thinking about it, but kept changing their mind.</p><p>She remembers the sun slipping through them in streaks, casting everything in that pale gold that makes you feel like something good might still happen.</p><p>She remembers laughing about something stupid on the radio.</p><p>A caller-in telling a story about dropping their phone in a blender. She'd laughed out loud, alone in the car.</p><p>Her hand resting lightly on the gearstick. Her windows cracked just enough to let in the summer.</p><p>She remembers the light turning green.</p><p>And then—</p><p><em>Nothing.</em></p><p>Not immediately.</p><p>Not all at once.</p><p>At first it was just a flicker.</p><p>A second too long between breaths.</p><p>The world paused. </p><p>But eventually, the noise folded in on itself. The metal screamed louder than she did. Her chest hit the steering wheel with a force that stole the air from her lungs, her voice, her thoughts.</p><p>The world tilted sideways, and she swore the wind got knocked out of time. Like someone hit pause, then play, then rewind...all in the same breath.</p><p>She remembers trying to move.</p><p>Her fingers. Her foot.</p><p>Nothing worked the way it was supposed to.</p><p>Her limbs felt borrowed. Heavy. Disconnected.</p><p>What’s strange is that she didn’t panic right away. </p><p>She thought: <em>My groceries. I didn’t put them in the fridge.</em></p><p>Then: <em>Who will feed the cat?</em></p><p>Then: <em>Did I tell my mom I love her the last time we talked?</em></p><p>She couldn’t remember.</p><p>Blood slipped into her mouth. Warm. Salty. Familiar.</p><p>She tasted metal and panic and regret.</p><p>She thought about all the things she hadn’t done.</p><p>The book she hadn’t finished because she was always too tired. </p><p>The guy she never texted back, not because she wasn’t interested, but because she was scared of starting something she didn’t feel good enough for.</p><p>The voicemail she saved but never replied to.</p><p>That apology she never gave.</p><p>She thought about all the mornings she stood in front of the mirror, picking herself apart.</p><p>How many times she’d pulled at her skin, wishing her face looked different.</p><p>How many times she’d said cruel things to her own reflection, and called herself names she wouldn't say to a stranger.</p><p>Now, with blood drying on her lips and glass in her hair, it felt <em>stupid</em>. Absurd.</p><p>How <em>precious</em> her face felt now. Even bruised. Even broken.</p><p>She thought about all the nights she prayed for the pain to stop—</p><p>The ache in her chest that no one saw.</p><p>The loneliness that followed her like a shadow.</p><p>The quiet despair she dressed up with smiles.</p><p>She had begged for peace.</p><p>For rest.</p><p>For the heaviness to lift.</p><p>But not like this.</p><p>God, <em>not like this.</em></p><p>The sirens came late, as they do.</p><p>Too late for what she needed. Maybe not too late for what she was becoming.</p><p>She heard voices. Felt hands. They were gentle but frantic.</p><p>And when the paramedics leaned over her, asked her name, told her to stay awake, she tried.</p><p><em>God, she tried.</em></p><p>But her lips were trembling and her body was cold and everything she’d never said—</p><p>every unsent text, every swallowed apology, every "<em>I love you</em>" she meant to say but never did—</p><p>—was stuck in her throat.</p><p><em>I’m not ready.</em></p><p><em>I want more.</em></p><p><em>Please don’t let this be the end of me.</em></p><p>But all that came out was a whisper.</p><p><em>“Tell my mom…”</em></p><p>And then it was quiet.</p>

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