A LETTER TO MYSELF ON SELF-DOUBT - by Oluwatoyin Odunuyi

Dear me, Remember those carefree years when you could join a dance group without worrying you couldn't dance like Beyonce at Coachella or bust moves like Poco Lee? Even if it felt awkward and cringey, you got on that stage and gave it your best. What happened to that girl? Today, I'm here to talk about one thing that keeps disturbing you, like back pain during your period. It's that uninvited guest: Self-doubt. It creeps in just when you're about to make a power career move or score a well-deserved relationship, whispering, "Are you sure this is for you? What if you're the second choice? Remember when you tried to sing five years ago? What if it happens again?" Yes, that old friend. The one who won't get the memo and leave you alone. You once believed self-doubt would be outgrown like bedwetting, but it's tougher than that. Adulthood brings it back every day. Growing up hasn't just meant more confidence; it's juggling debts, situationships, office politics, and endless responsibilities, making self-doubt feel stronger. Adulthood is full of questions, such as, "Am I doing this right?" There's no real instruction manual; while the Bible offers guidance, much is left unanswered. Back in our teenage years, we doubted whether we would graduate; now, you're wondering whether you chose the right career path, or whether the bosses in the office think you're worth their paycheck. You may think that everyone else doesn't suffer from self-doubt; everyone experiences self-doubt at some point. Including that Kiss Ass person in your office. Have you noticed that self-doubt arises when you're celebrating something? It comes at that point where you should pop the champagne or get on your knees to thank God for what He has done. Instead, you're second-guessing yourself. Now, what can you do when this friend comes uninvited? The truth is that it can never be entirely gone, but you need to recognise who you are: you're a superstar. The voice saying, "Are you sure you can do this?" is self-doubt, not the truth. Your achievements prove your capability; your track record is stronger than any doubt. If you have been chosen for opportunities to speak concerning disabilities over and over again, why do you have to think that you're not worth it? If you have been acing the test? Why do you believe that you wouldn't be able to graduate? You have the results to prove that I can make it! Excuse me while I get into my Malcom X persona. Now, remember this quote: 'Don't let the fear of what could happen make nothing happen.' You're thinking of many things that you end up shutting down opportunities. That is not you! Yes, sometimes, self-doubt still wins. There are mornings when even getting out of bed feels like a negotiation. But the fact that you doubt yourself doesn't mean you’re failing. You are doing better than okay. You're juggling the wild circus of adulthood that comes with bills, responsibilities, and constant decisions. Self-doubt may always accompany us in adulthood, but don't let it take control. Keep going, even when you're nervous or make mistakes. Life isn't about being fearless; it's about moving forward while keeping self-doubt in the back seat. Signed, your biggest fan!

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